Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'm a toddler now!

Finally! He put me down, now I can explore! I wonder what's over here? Hey! Wow! This is so much faster than that crawling stuff. What did Dad call it? Walking! Yeah, its awesome!

Ouch! My bottom hurts. I need to get the hang of it, I can't keep falling over because when I do he comes and picks me up. Damn him! I want to walk some more. I need practice!

Ooooo, what's that? I can reach it now! The smaller people use it a lot to point at those boxes and noises happen and strange pictures appear on that really big flat square. But more importantly there are shiny lights on the boxes: oooo and buttons! I love buttons! When I press them the sounds change or stop, and sometimes the picture goes away too! This is so much fun! Damn it, he picked me up again. And he keeps repeating something. It sort of sounds like 'no' I wonder what that means? He says it a lot. Wow, these buttons are fantastic!

Cool! The back door is open! If I can just get past the furry thing with the big ton..hahaha it licked me on the face! Funny! Ow! The tail swipe afterwards was unnecessary though. What's that, the blue box? Awesome! It's full of water, just like a really small bath! I love playing with water!

Don't pick me up! I'm free! There is so much stuff to look at out here, and I've only just got started! Damn, he closed the door too.

Hey what's over there? I can grab these silvery things and pull them and, wow, they open! Ooooo look at all this cool stuff inside! I could get to some of these before (and Dad made that 'no' sound alot then too) but now I can get to so many more! There is so much stuff to look at and pull out! Cool!

I'll just put this thing down here and try those silvery things over there. Jackpot, bottles! Oh, their empty, they need milk. DAD WHERE'S THE MILK? I'M REALLY THIRSTY AND I LOVE MILK. DAAAAAAAAAD! I WANT MILK NOW!

Finally, he's got the bottle and opening that really big door where the coldness comes out. Ah! That's where the milk is. COME ON DAD, HURRY UP. I'M SO THIRSTY!

WHAT? I WANT IT NOW! Do I care if its cold? No not really. I mean, sure its better when its warm, but I WANT IT NOW! Finally! Slurp, suck. 

I'm stuffed, and really tired, and so full. What does Dad say I look like 'Buddha'? I think I'll let Dad know I'm tired. DAD I'M TIRED. GO AND GET MY BLANKY AND GIVE ME A CUDDLE. HURRY UP! Ah, that's better, so sleepy, I don't even want to fight this time, too tired, but I'll just have a little nap.


OK I appreciate you might be asking the questions, I can picture the raised eyebrows, and even your doubting of my honesty and integrity. I mean how can I, a humble stay at home parent, actually speak to a baby? Well, recently I picked up an old baby translator developed by Herb Simpson at a garage sale, and used it to record the cutest one.

There were a few kinks in the translation, it works on American baby speech, not Australian, so the the dialect caused some issues, but what you read above is about as accurate a translation as I could get. Oh and if you don't believe me, well I got the Doctor to verify it.

The mouse actually started walking a few months ago, when she was about ten and a half months old. She's got the hang of it now, and is pretty much running everywhere, and she's damn quick. Life was much easier when she just lay there, but perhaps not as entertaining. 

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